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22-Jun-2017 08:18

’ I knew the subject of children was off-limits on the first few dates, but my growing baby angst hijacked my common sense.

Another single friend, who is 38, says she mentally mixes her genes with a man’s before she’s even halfway through their first date.

It’s down to me to fill the baby gap with a life I love.

Who knows, I might just find what I’m looking for then — not an ‘instant infant’, but partnership, adventure and love.

‘Leave the emotional baggage out of it for the first couple of dates,’ he says. People have very sensitive radars when it comes to the motives of those close to them.

‘If you talk about children early on, there’s a chance you’ll scare him off.’Psychotherapist Phillip Hodson, who specialises in family, love and sex, advises caution: ‘The first thing you should be asking yourself is not “is he good father material? We women often think we are cleverly hiding our true intentions, but men can see through us.

Just like men our age, we forty-somethings would prefer to have time on our side.

Like many females in my shoes, I love my freedom and would happily go another five years without hearing the patter of tiny feet.

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I confess that on many first meetings, and indeed first dates, my vision was somewhat impaired by a courage-boosting vodka and tonic.

Like many modern women, I spent much of my 20s viewing potential suitors through what we jokingly termed ‘beer goggles’.

‘The older I got, the more I knew I had this clock ticking inside me that I couldn’t ignore,’ she says.

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‘It wasn’t just about meeting someone and having fun.There has been a corresponding surge in 40-plus mothers.

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